A God filled life...?

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love and endurance. - Titus 2:1-2 (Message Bible)


I have had so many things going through my head the last few days, but I have been unable to straighten them out or put them into words. However, this morning as part of my daily Bible reading, I read Titus 2 and all of my thoughts lined up. Am I leading a God-filled life and am I leading others to do the same? My answer: I'm trying to. Although, in the words of the wise Master Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try." I feel I am doing the best I can to lead others and my family to a God-filled life. Do I stumble and fall, yes. Any honest Christian will tell you the truth, no one is perfect.  


While reading Titus 2, I realized that I have had too narrow a focus on leading others to a God-filled life. I have recently been trying to lead only men. Mostly due to the fact I am working on a men's ministry that I am very passionate about. However, if you read the whole chapter, it talks about guiding women to lead lives of reverence and be models of goodness. "By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives." Titus 2:4-5. If we teach not just older women, but also the twenty and thirtysomethings how to lead God-filled lives, it will trickle down to the next generation of girls and change the world.

In verse six, it says "Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives." Followed up in verse seven and eight with, "but mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane." What this says to me is simply this, discipline your kids when they need it, but live the life you are trying to get your kids to live. Plus, always stand by your word, don't tell them one thing and do something different.

So here we go with the foot smashing. Do you spank your kids for having a "potty mouth", then turn around and curse when you accidentally smash your thumb? Do you punish your kids for being mean to other children, then turn around and yell at your spouse, friends, or co-workers when they are around? Time to put on the grown up pants and look in the mirror. Be HONEST with yourself. Are you living the life you want your kids or (for those who don't have kids yet) the next generation to live? Are you doing what is necessary to change in order to live a life of integrity and honor?

Here is probably my favorite part of this chapter: "God's readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation's available for everyone! We're being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now." Titus 2:11-12


Forgiveness and salvation are public and available to EVERYONE. God does not hate ANYONE and will meet EVERYONE right where they are. God only hates sin. However, if you are honest with yourself and God, and start living a God-filled life, don't expect God to leave you where you are. You will grow, as a Christian, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, boss, co-worker, and so on. We have all been called to a better life and to raise future generations to be better than us.

What are you doing to live a God-filled life and raise a better future generation? If you are wondering, I am looking at my reflection in my laptop as I write this, so this is for me too.

Thanks for stopping by and God Bless...

For Single men, it is hard but not impossible...

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. - Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)


Ok, I've been thinking really hard about how to address this issue with single men. I've been married to the love of my life for almost 9 years, and it is hard to remember what things were like when I was single. Plus, I wasn't the most pure man during that point of my life. I have been reading a lot on the subject of purity, and I think I have figured out how to share my thoughts for single men.

First, let me say I do not envy any single men out there right now.  The world is hyper-sexualized, and it is near impossible to get away from sexual stimulation. However, as Ephesians 5:3 states, we can not have even "a hint of sexual immorality." This is gonna sound kinda hard and harsh to you single guys, but remember all things are possible with Christ. Guys have to get rid of EVERY sexual stumbling block in their lives, whether single or married. This can be from the obvious mens pornographic magazines, your favorite movie or video game that has a scantly clad woman that makes you think dirty thoughts, or going to work a different way so you don't stop at the gas station where the popular mens magazines are sold. It can also mean hanging out with a different crowd or group of people at work. Just know this won't be a cake walk.

This is the part where you single guys will hate me. I have been reading the book Every Man's Battle, by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoker, and have discovered many things about the battle in men over sex. Men need to understand that we are sexual beings and that God has made sex for us to enjoy, but only after marriage. Men are aroused by visual stimulation more than anything. So for all men, but especially single men trying to stay pure for marriage, we have to fight a war with our eyes. The rest of this is pointed directly at single men, but you married men can take what you need to hear from what I have to say. The easiest way to win this war sounds easy, but make no mistake it is not. You must make the conscious decision to not look at any visual stimulation that would cause us to lust after a woman. Like I mentioned, easier said than done.

You might ask, "What does this include?" Obviously it includes porn; movies that contain nudity; magazines that show women that may not be nude, but are almost nude in sexually provocative positions; Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition; posters and calendars of bikini babes; and any thing else that might make you fantasize about the woman you are looking at. Sounds harsh doesn't it. Here is my question to you, do you want to win this war? How pure do you want to be for your future wife? The more pure you are, the better chance you have of seeing the lady you are dating as a person, not as an object to conquer sexually. She will respect you more for this, and an amazing bond may form that may lead to a wonderful marriage and life together.

Sound good?

I know it sounds hard so far, but don't the challenge deter you. Now for the hard part. You must make a covenant with your eyes not to look at anything that will cause you to lust. This means when the beautiful woman with the more-than-abundant cleavage comes jogging by you while you are out running, you must look away. When you go to the lake during the summer, you must not dwell on those string bikinis and the curves they are covering (or not covering). You must divert your eyes to keep these mental photos from being stuck in your mind, and becoming your personal fantasy when you get home.

You single men must realize that even us married men struggle with this part, but it is possibly the most important battle you must win in this fight. If you can make the decision in your heart and make a habit of looking the other way, you will win this war. Now, I know things will catch your attention, but you must learn to "bounce" your eyes away. This means as soon as you see it, don't linger and move your vision somewhere else. Don't let the things that catch your eye lead you to lust and sin. Learn this habit and you will be well on your way.

Here is my final thought for you single guys. Get some other single men, or married men you trust, to help keep you accountable. Get a program like X3 to monitor your web history with an accountability partner. Find men you trust, be honest with each other, and fight to win this war.

Ultimately, the choice is up to you on whether you want to win this war and be pure or not. How bad do you hate your sin and addictions? Do you hate it bad enough to fight with every fiber of your being? What will you give up to win this war? Think about it, then decide whether or not to fight.

Thanks for stopping by and God Bless...

The winds are changing...

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19


This scripture has recently become one of my favorites and a cornerstone of my daily life. Things are changing. Can you feel it? There is a call out to the men and women of this generation to do something new. Not new to God, but new to this generation.

This call is for people to have an intimate relationship with our savior, Jesus Christ. Thanks to my friend Pastor Chad (whom I've mentioned several times in the past), I now realize this more than ever. During the time of prayer and fasting that I participated in during January at Destiny Church, I learned how to have a true intimate relationship with Jesus. Plus, Pastor Chad delivered an amazing message Sunday that helped that understanding. Over the past two or three decades the church has taught more of what we get by becoming Christians, not that God wants to have an intimate relationship with us. He is trying to get your attention with a "burning bush" that you will have to turn aside to approach. He wants us to take the step toward him, so that he can approach and whisper to us. God wants to call your name.

During this month of prayer, my life has been completely changed and my reality has been turned upside down. I took the step to build a relationship with God, and he has whispered to me. I want everyone to experience this and more. What excites me the most is this, I am being called into ministry. God has put a dream and a purpose in my heart and life. This dream excites and challenges me, but it also breaks my heart.

Let me shed a little light on the subject. In my previous post, I went on a rant about men being men, and how they needed to stop fantasizing with pornography and start chasing after their wives. For those who don't know, I used to be a pornography addict. For almost two decades it was the forefront thought and drive in my life. God has set me free of this, and now he has called me to help others do the same thing and help them heal, along with their families. I am very passionate about this and I am moving forward with this call, but all the glory will go to God not me. I am very humbled that he has called me, and I hope that I use this calling the way he wants me to. I hope I never deviate from the path he has laid before me.

Now for a quick rant. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. - Hebrews 12:1


Men this is for you again. It is time for us to put behind us all of the sin that has slowed us down and drug us through the mud. I believe the biggest thing for every man is sexual purity. God has made us sexual beings, but he set parameters for us to enjoy a sexual relationship with our wife only. Guys (and if it applies, ladies), lets put down the hypersexualized magazines (this includes the popular mens and ladies mags), block the porn sites, and if need be get rid of our premium movie channels so we don't get tempted by the weekend late night movies (you know the ones I am talking about). Get rid of the sin that easily trips you up and that can ruin your relationship with God and possibly your spouse. Let's win the hearts of our spouses again and enjoy a euphoria of pleasure with them and them alone. Let God create a river in the dry wasteland of your relationship. Oh, for you single guys, don't worry I won't forget about you. I'll be back to address the situations you face soon.

So, things are changing. God is calling everyone to be pure and then have a personal relationship with him. Like Pastor Chad said, we need to take the first step toward God, then he will come to you. He loves you and is waiting patiently for you to come to him. Will you answer the call, turn from your current path, and go to the "burning bush" that God is trying to get your attention with? Think about it.

Sorry this is so long, but thanks for stopping by and God bless...

Calling REAL men...

Say to the nations far and wide: "Get ready for war! Call out your best warriors. Let all your fighting men advance for the attack. Hammer your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears. Train even your weaklings to be warriors." Joel 3:9-10

I'm gonna go on a rant for a little bit here, but please bare with me. It is time for men to step up and be MEN!!! Not the men you see on tv or in the movie theater, but men the way God created us. Big, burly, loud, loving, protecting, honorable men. For the past three or four generations the men of the United States have been attacked and castrated by the media and organizations that think we should roll over and play woman. I say no more, let the real men stand up and lead the way. Let me follow that thought up with this, I am not being sexist. I believe men should be men, and women should be women. Sometimes, men don't follow their God given call to lead their families, businesses, churches, etc., and the women have to take charge. However God has called men to lead the way, and men have not been doing that.

Men have let the world creep in, and it has stopped us from chasing our wives and loving them the way we should. We no longer are the strong men that protect them and our children. We have become a generation of weaklings with limp handshakes. The world of pornography has caused men to live in a virtual reality of a computer screen in stead of in the real world sharing a passionate bed with our wives. Did that make you blush? I'm not sorry. Real men chase and lust after their wives and no other woman. Too harsh? Nope! Real men enjoy sex the way God intended, in the marriage bed with your wife. Not with your hand fantasizing about the most recent nude female you have found. If this offended you, then you don't realize the effect that the media and pornography has had on you or (for the women reading) your husband.

The world expects us as men to be bubbling, babbling idiots that can't take charge and change the world. We have been castrated and are allowing the world to tell us who we are and how we should act. Well, put on your pants, strap your belt on tight, and hold on. It's time to plow forward as men and lead the way. How? That is a good question.

If you looked at the scripture at the beginning, it said "train even your weaklings to be warriors." This means even the wimpiest sissy of a man can be a great warrior and lead the way. God has given men the charge of being the head of their household, but to also love and care for your wife. Sounds kind of like and oxymoron, but it can be done. Stand your ground and make a decision, but listen and support your wife. Teach your children right from wrong. (This part might be unpopular) When your kids need discipline, sometimes it takes more than a timeout! I received spankings as a child, and I turned out just fine. I don't hate my parents or have trust issues. I love my parents for bringing me up with respect and integrity.

Now, this part may sound a little preachy, but read it through. As men we must lead our families as Godly, Christian men. God created us to be honest and live with integrity. Don't just drag your family to church on Sunday. Teach them to love Christ and his word daily. Pray with them, and do a devotional with them. Don't just stare at the flat screen on the wall every night. Be a father and a husband, not a warm body. This takes effort and energy, but if you don't think your family is worth the energy, then you might need to re-evaluate your life. The more you lead your family and teach them as a man, the more complete and happy your family will be. The more you seduce and chase your wife, the more she will love and enjoy your private life. The more time you spend in the Bible, the more God will speak to you and show you what to do in life.

Ok, I am going to stop this rant now, but I have more to share on this subject. Oh, and I will share it soon. So here it is: Men put on your big boy pants and be men!!! No more being a little sissy boy that the world runs over. Lead the way!!!

Thanks for stopping by and God Bless...

So simple it is hard...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (NLT)


Why is it so hard as humans to just take things at face value, or do the easiest things asked of us. Why do we always look for the hidden meanings instead of believing exactly what was told to us. The simplest answer is that we are human, but like the previous comments, it is also the most complicated.


God made humans complex and with free will. We can decide what we want to do, and this doesn't always translate to what God has for us. Jesus said: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Luke 10:27 (NIV). This is the simplest, most straight forward commandment from the mouth of Christ, to love. If we can't love God, how can we love our neighbors? We have taken this and twisted it to I love myself, then my neighbors, finally God. Sounds messed up huh.


Back to Proverbs. We have tried to explain God, life, love, and everything in between. We have stopped listening for God to speak. We shove our minds full of the daily noise of life and the things of this world. I believe it is time for us to stop trying to explain everything, quiet our minds and listen for the voice of God, or like Pastor Chad has been teaching, the whispers from God.


In the movie I Am Legend, Will Smith's character thinks he is the last human alive after a virus de-evolves the human population. After his dog is killed by these monsters, he tries to kill several of them while also knowing this will kill himself. He is rescued by a woman that had heard his radio transmission looking for survivors. The next day she tells Smith that God told her where to look to find him. With doubt on his face, Smith questions her sanity. Her reply to this was, "The world is quieter now and it is easier to listen to God" (or something close to that). The point of this, when you get other noise out of your head and away from your life, it is easier to hear the whispers of God and the direction he wants to take your life.


Why do we have to complicate life, because we are human. Why don't we listen for God, because we are human. We take the simple things in life and make them complicated. Maybe we should be like children again and just believe what God said is what it is, no if's, and's or but's.


I hope this slaps someone in the face like it did me. Try to quiet your mind and find time for God to speak to you. Don't forget, once he speaks it's time to take action. Don't stand still, move forward and go where God leads. Anyways, sorry this is so long, but I just had to get it out. Thanks for stopping by and God bless...

Numb...

Numb is a curious word. At work it is my greatest ally, but in my personal life it is my nemesis. Numb is defined as: deprived of physical sensation or the ability to move; incapable of action or of feeling emotion; lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent. Sometimes a blessing, and sometimes a curse.

While at work I have seen many things that would cause most people to break. Emergency services are not for the weak stomached or weak minded. I have seen peoples insides on the outside, decapitation, child deaths and deaths of those that were way to young, along with a host of other disturbing images and smells. One of the main reasons I have survived is due to my “switch.” It seems that I was born with, or developed over time, a switch that shuts my emotions off. In essence, making me numb to everything and able to concentrate on my job. Here numbness is my ally and a great friend. It has kept me sane and focused on my job throughout my years in emergency services.

At home is where the numbness turns on me and becomes my greatest foe. I love my wife and kids with every fiber of my existence. Other than my relationship with God, they are the most important things on this earth to me. However, when little bumps in the road start to occur in our personal lives, my switch gets flipped on. This does not cause any major problems in my relationship with my wife, because she knows that it is there and can tell when it has been thrown. Where being numb really becomes a problem is when the little bumps don’t stop for months, and when the bumps keep getting bigger and more frequent. That is when the switch gets stuck on.

When this happens, I almost reach a point of depression. I get very close to shutting down. My motivation disappears. I can’t sleep. I either can’t eat or I eat until I want to throw up and feel miserable. Somehow during these feelings, I continue to function as a husband and father, but I am numb. My joy feels zapped, jokes are not as funny, the world just looks and feels distant and different. When this happens, I thank God for giving me a strong wife to love me and stand by my side with complete understanding.

The only way that I get my switch to turn back off is spending time with my wonderful family and spending time with God. Yes I said God. I pray, listen to praise and worship music, I get deeper into studying my Bible. I try to shut out the entire world except for God, my family and my church family (the things that make me the happiest in the world). I surround myself with life-giving things and I slowly make my way back into the world emotionally.

I guess with all things in life it comes down to this: balance. Finding the balance where my switch is only on at work and is off when I walk out of the firehouse. I haven't struggled with this much lately, but I felt a great desire to put this out there. So, I hope this helps someone see that they are not alone in their struggles and with God and great family support, you can break the cycle and no longer be numb.

Thanks for stopping by and God Bless!!!

From burnout to warrior...

The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name. Exodus 15:3

I know I've said this many times (and this probably won't be the last), but we have an amazing leader in Pastor Chad at Destiny Church. He delivers such relevant teaching and many times spoken words for many at the perfect time. This past Sunday was one of those perfect times.

First, let me say I am going through a very difficult time in my life. I have reached a point of burnout. I find it very hard just to get out of bed in the morning, but by God's grace I get up and make it through the day. I hope you don't mind if I am completely transparent for a bit, but I really need a time of refreshing from God really bad. However, I don't really have the time to get away or the financial means to get away. So here I go, trying to continue doing the work God has called me to do and go from burnout to warrior!!!

Back to this past weekend. I am gonna try to make this short and sweet. The challenge that Pastor Chad has put on the men of Destiny Church is what I think needs to happen in every home. So here are the cliff notes. It is time for men to be men. Step up and be a MAN!!! Stop letting this world try to make you a female and be a push over. The world (especially the American mentality) is trying to castrate men and take away our natural tendency to be dominant in all we do. Men are made to be the leaders of their homes; physically and spiritually. One of the best quotes from Pastor Chad this weekend was, "The world is trying to turn men into women and the results are in: MEN DO NOT MAKE GOOD WOMEN." It is time for men to go from being forced into this unnatural role and become warriors.

Now, I'm not saying a woman has to stay home and be "bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen." It is just time for the men of the church to step up and lead their families. Men, it is your responsibility to lead your family to Christ, to provide for their needs and protect them from this world. We have to stop being pushovers and letting our families be beaten down and run over by the perversions of this world. It is time for men to spend time with their children (this one is for me too). It's time to stop sitting in front of the tv or video game and play with our kids or love our wives. Get up, go for a walk, play catch, go to a playground, have a date. Just be the head of your family and be there for them and with them.

Here is going to be a tough part to swallow. Men and women, you are your children's PARENTS not best friends. It's time to stop letting our daughters leave the house in clothes that advertise their physical attributes. It's time to teach our sons to be gentlemen and treat females like ladies, no matter who they are. It's time to teach our daughters to be ladies and not act like they are for sale and to save themselves for marriage. It is time for discipline, when our kids do something wrong they need to learn what they did is wrong and accept their punishment. Our kids must learn that WE are in charge of our homes not them, and we will not be pushovers anymore.

Bottom line, men be MEN!!! You can be loving, compassionate and strong. You can be fathers, protectors of your families, and lovers to your wife. You can do these things, you just have to be a MAN, a warrior, a leader.

There is your challenge and it will not be easy, but it is time to go lead and love your kids and wives!!! Thanks for stopping by and God Bless!!!